Writing is often hard. When I look back over what I’ve written, I rarely feel satisfied with it, no matter how long I’ve labored over it. What I write is probably never going to be read by more than a handful of people. In fact, as far as I know, only Maggie has read my books from start to finish.
(Thank you, Maggie! I don’t tell you often enough how much your support means to me!)
I’m never going to be able to give up the day job. I’m probably never going to have the joy of knowing that others out there have read and loved my work.
So why do I continue?
It’s because the world I’ve created is endlessly fascinating to me. There is a story unfolding in my mind, and I want to get it down. When I’m writing, I’m fully immersed in my fictional world – the characters, the setting and the action all come alive.
Perhaps this is why I find it hard to re-read my books once they’re published. I’m used to being able to interact with them (adding new descriptions and scenes, honing the dialogue, etc.), but on the printed page they have become static. Perhaps that’s why I always feel like something is missing.
If I spent enough years editing and polishing each book, perhaps I would eventually create something I was proud of, or perhaps not. Even I get bored of my Askamar stories when I’ve worked on them for too long. And perhaps it’s just as well that I don’t want to spend forever re-reading and re-writing my old work. It means I can move on to new stories in the saga.